HOW TO LOVE AND CARE FOR EVERYONE
Bissmi Lahi Rahmani Rahim, alhamdouli Lahi Rabil alamina, wa salaatou wa salaam a la Rassoulou Lahi, salla Lahou Aleyhi was salaam.
Zikr-Prayer
- Fatiha
- Salatoul Fatihi
- Soub khanaka – la ill malana – illama allam tana – inaka antal Alimoul Khakimou
- Salatoul Fatihi
The topic today is how to care for everyone in the community, even those who are haters, snakes, back biters, or back stabbers, and non-Muslims.
How do you care for everyone and why is that important?
That is the topic this Saturday on the Nogaye Ndiaye Lecture Series.
So why is this topic important?
This topic is important because the believer is not just the one who believes in the existence of ALLAH, but the believer is the one who knows ALLAH as a result of a personal relationship that they have with ALLAH. And this is a relationship that impacts her or him positively. So where do you sense that positiveness? That positiveness is in your thoughts, in your attitude and your relationship with others. And today we want to focus on your relationship with the others.
Well, may be you know the hadith: none of you truly believes until you love for your brother or for your sister what you truly love for yourself. But how many people really do that. How many people really love for their brothers or their sisters what they really want for themselves? How many of us have at school or at the masjid one person we don't like? How many of you have that brother or that sister you don't like and who rub you the wrong way and every time you see them you are a little irritated or something like that? You know loving people and caring for people are one the fruits of being religious.
One of the fruits of being religious is loving and caring for people. And it is contrary to what people think. Many people think that being religious is to have a serious face or to have a frown on your face and when they see someone like that they think or say that is a good religious person, because he/she is strict and fears ALLAH, SWT.
Was the Prophet, PBUH, like that? He was definitely the most religious and the best human being. But was he always frowning as if he was angry, or was it what he meant to be religious? Even some people sometimes misunderstood Seydina Oumar,'s personality and they think he was frowning all the time, that he was mean and angry all the time, but that was not the case if you analyze his biography carefully. The Prophet, PBUH, is described by his companions ( the sahaba) (wa kana hachan bachan laa tarkhahou illa moubtassima = he was easy going, he was relax, and you never see him except he was smiling). This is how a religious person is. He is easy going, relax and smiling.
How can you love all the believers in your community, not being annoyed or irritated or bothered by anybody in the community?
Have you ever heard or read a narration where one of the companions came to the Prophet and said, Oh prophet of Allah, do you like me, or do you have a problem with me or something like that? No! Because the Prophet, pbuh, showed every one that he cared for them.
Now I want to share a fantastic hadith with you. This an authentic hadith where the Prophet, PBUH said: "al moumin yah lafou wa youhlaf wala khayra fiman laa yahlaf wa laa youhlaf" He said that the believer (the moumin) is the one that is loving and lovable and there nothing in he or she that is not loving or lovable. This is really fantastic!
Where do we get the idea that the religious person dislike this guy because this guy smokes or he hates that guy because that guy do this, or do that sin. Where is the mercy for that believer?
I will give you 5 pointers, 5 quick pointer on how to care for everybody, like when you meet some one in the masjid or in the street, how you can show you really care for them or you really like them.
- Greet them whole-heartedly. First thing when they greet you, you turn to face them, just like the Prophet, PBUH, used to do. Turn to face them, shake their hand, and give them your full attention. Face them with your face, look at them in the eyes, and greet them well. You can imagine that if you give your hand to some one like this without looking at them, you can really care for them like that. That was # 1
- Be genuinely interested in them and in their situation. If you have no interest in someone, and you don't care if they are sick or have health or monetary problems or things like that, how can you care for them?
- This is a very strong one! Know their problems, issues and be merciful. Try to think of the problems they have and feel mercy towards them, have pity on them.
Now I am going to tell some personal experience right here at the mosque. Some person came to me with his problems and I felt so bad and so merciful that I cried. Then, another person came to me to tell me the bad things and sins about that same person who I have pity for, just to try to discourage me from helping him/her and try to get me to hate him/her. But I could not hate that person because his problems were so real that if the other person knew them he would have mercy on him, and not hate him. - If there is somebody in your masjid, in your school, in your community you do not like or think he/she doesn't like you, buy them a gift, or give them something nice, treat them well. Be nice to them and show it and you will soon see they will begin to like you.
- If they ask you to make du'a, then MAKE DU'A for them. This is usually the way we have come to close our conversation: please keep me in your prayer, make du'a for me. But realistically very few people do it. If somebody ask you to pray for him or her and you really care for him or her, then do it.
Now how about the bad people in the community: the people who back bite, back stab, make problems, divide people, and create issues.
Can you care for them?
There is actually a very simple formula. Feel sorry for them.
Why? Feel sorry for them because ALLAH gave you a better position. Allah did not make you a backbiter, a snake, or a divider and they are even though they think they are smarter above all. They are in that position but it could be easily reversed and you at their place. But Allah gave you a better position and preferred you over them. You don't have to hate them. So feel sorry for them, feel mercy for them and even make du'a for them so that they improve.
We have talked about the believers; we have the troublemakers, haters, and backbiters, now how about the non-Muslims?
Can you care for the non-Muslims? And this is really a simple question.
Did the Prophet Mohamed, PBUH care for Abou Taleb?
Did the Prophet care for the Qureish?
Remember what Serigne Mountakha said last Saturday about the non-Muslim person who used to dump garbage in front of the Prophet's door?
When the people beat and pelted the Prophet with stones and rocks and he was bleeding, The Angel came to him and said: "in chitta an outbikh aleyhim oul akhchabeyt" "if you like, I can send them and crush them between the two mountains". But the Prophet said: NO! Because I hope from their loins and their descendants will come people who will worship Allah and will not associate anyone with Allah. Can you imagine saying something like that?
What is that? That is care from the Prophet Mohamed. He cared for the people who a few moments ago were pelting him with stones and rocks causing him to bleed. This was one of the most difficult days of his life, as he said to Aicha, RTAnha. If it was I, I might say yes, I like that: crush them. But the Prophet, PBUH, did not do that because he was caring and cared for the non-Muslim people also.
Now I want to close by saying that the Prophet, pbuh, cared for people because he was the best in dahwa (prayers). He will always say: this is my people, I love them. Love people, be caring, try to appreciate people first, before you are irritated first, try to like people first before you dislike them first.
Sali ali Mohamed wa barick ala mohamed wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salama taslima
